I'll give it to a debt collector and he'll forgive me all my debts (well, he hasn't)

Husband's at work and you're not wearing panties? Come on, let's go have a neighborly fuck

She jerked me off with her legs, and I thanked her by giving her a pussy-jerk

Honey, I googled how to come from a massage. Why don't we give it a shot?

Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Stranger girl, you want free pizza, show me how you give a blowjob

I thought she would come from her fingers, but she only wants a big dick

It's still three weeks until New Year's Eve, but we've already started fucking under the tree

Mia Bandini won't go to bed until she's been properly fucked

Oh, you're such a fucker, who did you give the nudes to? I'm gonna beat the shit out of you